Conjuring Thoughts From A Fickle Mind

When I can't sleep my mind starts to conjure thoughts. It begins with simple things then my thought process turns into something else. I wonder, then I ponder, and at the end I question. But my questions always leads to another question... it never stops. Then I begin to question the very essence of my questions. That's when I realized, a person's ability to question is inherent. Although faced with facts and principles, we somehow find a way to question the very foundation of the truth behind those facts. It is the never-ending quest for answers to our most fragile existence. We will, and always will be seeking for those answers.

"Who am I?" it is the most complex question that requires the most complicated answers. How is one's being defined? Is it based on your stature in life, your achievements and success? But some people define this as mere material and ambitious goals that clearly is irrelevant to one's being. Those who seek a more mental and spiritual definition will overlook this accomplishments and seek a more thorough explanation as to who he is and what is his purpose, the kind that gives one's soul a euphoric feeling, a sense of completion. But for those who seek a more fulfilled and success related answer, they work on gaining a momentum in their careers, a title that will validate one's status, one that will give them honor and will help them gain the respect one's title invokes. There are those who seek fame, and there are those who seek riches just to be able to secure one's contribution to humanity.

No matter how this question is answered, it is still subjected on how a person looks upon himself, the sum of his experiences and his totality as a person will somehow help him determine who he is. But the question, I think, may never be answered, because man's purpose of existence is vast, there may not be a distinct and precise answer because in reality, we are who we want ourselves to be.

Now my question is..
AM I NORMAL IN THINKING THESE THOUGHTS?

And the questions never stop.

On a serious note, this my friends is another product of my fickle mind while I read about Descartes during the past hour. Boredom makes me ponder, what can I say? Rolling my eyes to my constant need of self-gratification IN TERMS of historical and philosophical knowledge, I came across this fella. One of his philosophies struck me the most, something that was related to what I have been pondering on lately. My existence.. Who am I?

Dubito ergo cogito, cogito ergo sum 

("I doubt, therefore I think, I think therefore I am")

More so on the last thought, simply put, "Cogito Ergo Sum" is a latin phrase meaning "I think, therefore I am" became the fundamental element of western philosophy. In man's constant quest for the purpose of his being, he sometimes doubts his very own humanity. He searches for validation and within himself finds the answer. His mind, his thinking, his reasoning holds the very answer he seeks, that his mind is very powerful, powerful enough to validate his own existence. 

It's amazing how everything is all in the mind, we basically become what we think. Our mind is the greatest creator on earth, it can either generate the most sublime happiness for it's owner or it can destroy him.

Descartes proves that the power of the mind to think, to even conjure thoughts, is enough to answer that "I am the validation of me, that I am the sum of my totality." The mind holds the power to convince one's self of his own existence, that no amount of deception, not even from a supreme being, can make him into nothing as long as he thinks that he is something.

Have you ever wondered what happened to a schizophrenic? Or someone who is mentally ill? You tend to think, what has gone through their minds to make them lose their grasp on reality?

But how can one really say what reality is valid? Is our "just" and "upright" way of thinking, our morals and principles, the true validation of what is perceived as reality? Just because a person does not behave by our standards of  what is "normal" and "sane", he or she is immediately a threat, a detriment to society, and is considered as someone who has LOST HIS MIND. 

How does losing one's mind happen? Was it deliberately chosen by our own consciousness? That the imbalance of chemicals, neurons and brain waves was intentionally done because the mind willed it? I often wondered that, if a person can possibly lose himself willingly to the throes of insanity, just to liberate him from the constrictions of human decency, to free him from the rules and laws imposed by society.

Having that state of mental illness gives a person the "excuse" to act immorally, violently and unjustly towards others without worries of criminal liability or prosecution of any authority. That kind of freedom, to act as you please, was it the kind of liberation the mind sought after right from the start? I wonder.

To sum up my gibberish? lol. Power of the mind folks. Lust, love, passion, greed, jealousy all comes from it. It renders us helpless, weak, strong.. vulnerable. The mind plays more games than we do and a thousand times more strenuous than any physical exercise. Never underestimate the influence of your mind on your body. It's like a dictator on top, sitting, waiting for that perfect moment to strike.

Who I am is who my mind conjures me to be, take hold of it, control it and use it to your advantage, because I still believe that the answer to all our questions lie within us, it lies within the intricate networks of our ever deceiving mind.

Everything is in there, we just have to find the right key 

and figure out how to unlock it.